Damage over time is a concept in life that we all know, but has gained popularity mainly through video games.

In video games, many of the mechanics of real life are implemented to provide an immersive experience for the human player. So, not only to slay enemies faster and more efficiently, but to make it more intuitive and relatable, an effect over time affects a health bar long after the initial hit. Be it the trusty poison damage or a lasting magic spell, you can dish out more than one thing at a time!

When discussing effects over time, either positive or negative, many daily applications come to mind:
Weed killing, soaking dishes, rhetoric pauses, marinating, drying laundry, taking medicine and a lot more.
So mostly things that help us in all quests of life, in turn with actions with an immediate effect, of which there are also things that hinder us and need to be resolved, in order for the affected human not to worry:
A hard day at work takes a toll on the mind and the car doesn’t really wash itself, listening sometimes requires extra attention and raking leaves leaves one with less energy than before.

Has the player taken damage, healing is the solution. Simple maths.
Only, what if the damage persists? Do you heal yourself immediately, after the damage is done, or might you even have some healing over time option? Will it even out the damage? How many healing resources do you have? Do you expect more damage soon?

Normally, we grow with our tasks. We get the quests done using our strengths, use the same to level up our healing mechanics to fit the individual weaknesses, and ultimatiely succeed that way.
The key is to know your weak spots and your healing approach well.
Some players develop better healing techniques, some learn how to get out of the way of damage, some don’t mind any pain, some do not want a challenge to begin with, some have no choice.

And some, some are more vulnerable to damage over time, the dreaded health bar annihilator, the one effect that makes the source of damage almost indistinguishable. Even when to others a certain hit means but little effect over time, the damaging effect lasts tenfold for those.
They learned to live with an overwhelming flood of influences to their health status, not being able to tell one damage apart from the other, constantly struggling to rearrange possible factors within their abilities, failing to relate to what others say about their daily healing process, trying to fit in using the provided means of coping, never making ends meet and thinking that it all is normal.

It is never just some damage, just some certain amount of energy, just one measly spoon.
Not until you take more steps back than you ever have, in order to put development points into the right slots and to experience the right kind of success, be it small or great.

As a neurodivergent individual, my life has had different cycles of damage and healing.
Recently, I grew up. Notably by moving out and by learning more about my abilities and my weaknesses, and by practising to stand up for myself and my needs.
This part of evolving is probably the hardest I have ever been through, but I still have hope. I believe that a future of steady healing, maybe even a full health bar, and with less damage over time is waiting for me.
And I’m getting there, as Sir Oliver Evolves.

Because back then I put my needs in the background and lesser than everything else.
And that without any bad intent, but to the best of my knowledge about myself and in all conscience.
That had twice of an effect: I could live beyond my comfort zone, and I still always searched for frames that were stable enough for me to live inside of them.

That had 2 fundamentals: On the one hand, my parents’ house gave me the most comfortable, even though not as much age appropriate, environment and on the other hand, I worked on shaping my masks more and more in a way that made me feel almost like everyone else.

Those pains, insecurities, energy-deprivation and the huge amounted energy debt I just took home. I experienced fear and distress and didn’t even allow myself to call it that, as it wasn’t befitting the carefully designed mask of that Oli who I continuously optimised and cut to size.
I had my suspicions for a long time, to not be like everyone else, but lacking a clinical diagnosis I couldn’t arrogate anything myself, and so I concentrated on being happy . But these darker thoughts only had their place in those moments when I dropped the mask inside my comfort zone, as this mask is utterly heavy.

And when the doubts grew unbearable, I went for the source of the matter.
Diagnosis: Autism.

Now I don’t have an excuse, when it comes to ignoring my needs and sacrificing my lifestyle to the mask.

But even this self has merged so far into that mask, that I have a hard time even separating them.

Last year was shaped by 2 major projects:
First the return to the workplace, with a room to myself, with fresh tasks, with more self-respect.
Then, with fresh energy, moving out of my parents’ house, with new challenges and a new way of the daily life, with responsibilities in many new departments towards myself and others.

Thanks to the option of retreat from the open space office and an early workday, I had a chance to prevail against the masses of fresh responsibilities and to live.
Not least, it helped that I was made feeling sure about being welcomed in that way of working and being alright.

But with the moment I have to doubt that or when I disregard those needs for whatever reason, my happiness dies and what follows sucks up all energy.

And when at the end of balancing out no energy is left, it might so happen that I would even forget why exactly I am doing okay or which unexpected change would be fatal. As of then, I ride the downwards spiral, without realising it, without being able to hold onto healthy habits, without getting help.

I am programmed to see the good things. But that alone doesn’t let the bad disappear and I see it only too late, if I don’t accept it and learn to deal with it in a healthy way.

…actively and patiently listens to you.
…pays attention to you.
…remembers many things.
…takes great care and does things correctly.
…pays attention to detail.
…gives solid advice.
…can explain why they do what they do.
…maintains friendships.
…is honest and authentic.
…is friendly and happy.
…helps and supports.
…makes you happy.
…is considerate with their surroundings.
…inspires.
…makes things easy and relaxed.
…is generous.
…makes you laugh.
…is reliable and on time.
…is unobtrusive.
…doesn’t hold grudges.
…is understanding and open-minded.
…can be flexible and spontaneous.
…reflects on their self.
…is teachable.
…gives notice.
…asks about what’s important to you.
…takes you for who you are.
…is open towards new things.
…takes a stand for their values.
…is tidy.
…smells nice.
…is tact- and tasteful.
…radiates warmth and approachability.
…is trustworthy.
…keeps secrets.
…can articulate themselves properly.
…knows what is going on.
…pays respect and credit.
…has time for you.
…gets things done.
…is healthy.
…is creative.
…thinks ahead.
…is interested in your life.
…is content inside their world.
…can enjoy the little things as well.

As an autistic person, I have always strived towards and put the majority of my energy into being a person who everyone likes, and I learn new rules every day, in order to be better at it.
Whether a person like that, who everyone likes, can exist in the first place, I might haven’t questioned yet…

Even I do sometimes wonder at my past trips. How was I able to do all that and also make friends and inspire people all over the world?

A journey might sound like the wildest and most unforeseeable and most overstimulating thing ever that humans undertake, but in reality, all that is but secondary.

Mainly, a trip is a confined timeframe, with a set purpose and plan. You move quite consciously through time and space and with certain expectation of what kind of trip you would like to have.

Also, preparations: You kit out, always pack too much, you learn words and phrases in a foreign language, you gather info on safety and environment, you negotiate preferences with possible travel mates and previsualise your experience.
You make reservations, buy tickets, plan events and precalculate ways and resources.

And all that only to be able to be at ease and to cruise along smoothly on the journey, to take turns freely, to let inspiration approach, to feel at liberty, to leave worries behind, to find new things.
Every complication is amplified while on a trip: There is special insurance for going abroad, there are countless offers for tourists, the locals generally are understanding towards travellers and especially towards those who can adapt a bit.

While travelling, many people experience what I live through each day in an intense way: A frame makes relaxation possible in the first place and creates boundaries to let creativity and passion run free.

The following is a special achievement in travelling: To be among the locals, to do what they do, to act as one of them even if it is far from the comfort zone you are bound to return to.