Today at work I learned something about ease and unease and it led me to a rather topical topic I would like to share with you.

Sometimes I ask myself: What is happening these days?
Is anything happening? And if yes, is it good or is it bad? Do I like it or don’t I?

A silly old answer to that would be: It depends.

Thinking about it more, it starts to make sense to me. It just depends. But on what?
It solely depends on my perspective. How I look at things. How I interpret things and in which way my sensory apparatus reports back to the CPU.
You can apply this train of thought to grander and tinier schemes: Be it some triviality or something big, like the ugly faces of a lock-down situation.

Starting with the trivialities, I would like to lay out my favorite story on how to shape your reality:
Imagine yourself driving. You left home right on time for a moderately important thing. All’s well, music is nice, the sun is not blinding and your tummy rumbles in anticipation for what is to come.
Now there’s more cars on the road than yours alone and you approach a car from behind. Most times this happens when the other car goes slower than you do. And this one stinking does!
There is no way to overtake, no alternative detour, no chance it would go faster, no other way but following this slowpoke.

Some of you might already have taken the decision on how you feel about the situation. But guess what, you are one step ahead of me!
I still haven’t decided on what to make out of the situation:

• Do I jump to the conclusion that this driver just wants to make me angry?
• Do I bathe in thoughts of revenge and what gestures I will use, should I finally overtake?
• Do I judge the driver by this only drive I must witness?
• Do I assume things about him?
• Do I know anything about him?
• Do I know who he is?
• Do I know where he is going or where he is coming from?
• Do I know what he might be transporting?
• Do I know whether he has a choice driving this slow?

Based on the answers I would give to these questions, I will go by one of these universal theories:

• In the seat next to him is a huge bowl of dessert that he found no way covering. So he better drive slow!
• He experiences a medical emergency, which got worse during the drive and he must be careful not to endanger others.
• He is the best man for a wedding and has the splendorous cake to deliver.
• He is scared to the bones because he just missed some deer crossing the same street and drives extra cautious, no matter what.

At the core of my message please find this: We all have a perfectly neutral choice to either be just mad or assume any of the benevolent theories.

Why can we do that so easily? Because the consequences of our reality-bending choice are free of any harm whatsoever.

In any situation making us feel uneasy, we can use this. For example:

• Is something making you feel embarrassed for someone else and you positively cannot stop it from happening? Look away and don’t let it happen in your mind. Did it ever happen then?
• Do you fear judgement of others and are you too afraid to ask about it? Pretend they do not judge you to begin with.
• Do you have negative assumptions about something you do not understand fully? Assume otherwise. (that is a hard one)

So whenever you feel this window, when you indeed have the free will to assume something good or bad, choose wisely.
Only keep in mind the consequences of your choice. Does it affect nothing else than your own reality? Then go ahead and shape it to your liking!
But as soon as it affects the reality of others, be it through you telling others about your shaped reality or through other actions towards others, you have a greater responsibility to carry.

To the grander schemes, like a globally present situation or other things and events we don’t have much to say or to change about, we can apply this way of thinking as well.
Based on what we know and on the real life consequences of our way of thinking, we can assume any attitude we like best and which helps us the most.

Our thoughts are us. And what are we?

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