Seven Years

May 10, 2023 | After The Great Journey, Autism, Updates

Today it has been seven full years.
Two years ago I looked back gratefully at all the things that happened after the great journey and here I stand, with many more tales to tell:

  • I found myself in 14 countries including Germany

  • I had the chance to preserve many beautiful moments at 6 different weddings as the photographer

  • Last year I was successfully trained as a wellness masseur, which always has been a passion of mine

  • The unique chance to spend half a year working from the east of Germany was given to me and it was a blast!

  • My archives were sorted out and decluttered, which was a huge step for me

  • I fulfilled my old dream to upgrade my computing hardware to the newest generation

  • I started to follow my knack for sounds and started out making audio recordings to preserve precious sensory input

  • 3 of my 4 grandparents departed earth

  • Countless wondrous and ever-life-shaping times I spent with my dear friends and with family

  • The long-cherished question of my neural configuration has been answered and turned my life around pretty much

  • My role at work has changed according to my newly identified needs, which makes for a far more satisfactory work experience

  • Due to all the clearing up in my life, I came to the decision that it would be time to take on more responsibility in the right ways and move out from home

Now, the next stop for me is Canada, with more pictures to take, friends to meet, sounds to hear, food to eat, lengths to travel and many things to learn.

So stay tuned! 🙂

What happened in 2022: Magic

Dec 31, 2022 | After The Great Journey, Photos

Of all the unexpected things this year, some occasions stood out. For there were many of them and I knew of little in the beginning.

Since 2019, I also do wedding photography. And while the recent years certainly haven’t helped couples and photographers alike, this year allowed us to create something together again. Something I’d like to sum up as: Magic.

I am sure of one thing: 2023 will be about evolving. (Though, isn’t every year?)

What awaits, we don’t know. But I am looking forward to it!

See you there 😉

Pulling it off again

Dec 27, 2021 | After The Great Journey, Thoughts, Updates

We spend our time awaiting, scrolling, reloading, checking.

I, with dread, often catch myself making checking my smartphone my main activity.

But what are we waiting for? Why do we feel that responsible for this black mirror?

In short, I think that it has become an integral part of us, of humans and the society.
Just as we have mastered controlling our bodies at a young age and learned to react to sensory input, we now have another source of input we have to incorporate into our minds.
And just as we used to go to places for views or news or literally had to ‘get our hands on’ information, all of that is now much easier and practically unified through a certain window, a portal that carries us anywhere and gives us anything.

With this potential, we can communicate much faster, work together from different places in the world, we can access knowledge beyond comprehension and don’t have to worry to much about our physical situation to achieve that.

But what does it matter, where you are or who you meet, when you have anything and anyone in your pocket already?
Surely, it matters still. But it gets less and less every day. Look around you in the subway, at a train station, in a waiting room at the doctor’s.

We are getting used to it. It is part of our everyday life, as much of it actually happens inside our smartphone.
We even expect swift replies, updates and reports in a manner which would have brought down the best organised postal system of the past.

But what happens to us humans and to our society, when noone just looks beyond their screens anymore and beyond what is happening in that strange place called ‘the internet’?
We might not have arrived at that point yet, but I intend not to find myself there.

Instead, I want to pull something off, one more time.
Just as I banished all communication from my smartphone when I went to New Zealand.

As I will go to live in another place now for 6 months, working for the same company remotely, I have the chance to shape parts of my life differently.

So this is the plan: I will rid my smartphone of any instant messaging service, of every entertainment application, of every social media element and only keep the bare necessities to go places.
Of course I will keep all access to all communication channels on another device, but that one will be restricted to one place, maybe one room only.
I might even look at this other device only at fixed times each day.
Yet my work will be all digital and I will not stop indulging in digital entertainment in my spare time. But I want a clear border between the so-called ‘real world’ outside and the digital, online world.

This will allow me to keep all of my thoughts outside of my pockets. I won’t spend a single thought on whether there is something new inside that pocket. I will walk the streets and I will be there, in those streets. Undivided and without an alternative digital reality and without the chance of fleeing into the warm bosom of the infinite scroll…

But I am a little afraid, too: Where will I find myself then? What will happen when I am bound to my natural means of communication?
One thing is certain: It will be another grand adventure! And I am thankful to embark on this voyage!

Maybe I will find out what it means to be a single organic person, instead of a fused being: Half in the flesh, half floating in cyberspace.
Wouldn’t you want to know as well?

Hope and Anticipation

Oct 31, 2021 | After The Great Journey, Thoughts

Many times I have said those words to myself, but the occasions were always similar. I used it as some kind of verdict.
I believe: This is the meta reason of what drives us, believing in something to come.
Let me share:

 

Where do we experience it?

From the very beginning of our lives we longed for the next breath, for the next meal, for the next relief of uncomfortable circumstances.
Even those who were there for us in those times did anticipate these next steps with us.
More over, they waited for us to learn all new things until we were old enough to anticipate breakthroughs or even trivial joys of the everyday life ourselves.
Since then, we spent much of our lives waiting, anticipating, hoping:
The first day of school, the last day of school, the first day on the job, maybe even the last day on the job, driving a car, finding a partner, going on a holiday. Even most pieces of music are directly playing with the concept of teasing and rewarding. Or maybe before a date, before biting in that burger, before watching the next episode after a mean cliffhanger.
We always have something to look forward to. Literally.

 

What does it mean in life?

I want to outline the fact that there is always something in the future, and never in the past, that we can anticipate, that we can carve our path towards, that we can hope for.
There is always something we wish for, that we will be happy about, that we would like. Even if we don’t actively look at it, it is there and bound to happen.
The concept of forward moving time is that the future will have happened eventually. And just like we can shape our reality, we can decide on the things that make us happy in that future.
If there wouldn’t be anything in front of us, there would not be a reason to live. But there is always something. And thus, always a reason to venture forward.
How many boys have set new records in cleaning their room only because a girl mentioned coming over? Why do deadlines motivate us? Why do we shave?
Because there is something coming. Something that matters to us in some way.

 

What if it is bad, or not even there?

I just assumed one would want to be happy. That being happy is the main goal in life. Even though it might not be this simple, I still decide to live in that reality where ultimately we want to be happy. Each individual their way.
Still, some things we feel coming are not pleasant. For me a dentist appointment I would anticipate for one reason only: So it is over after. How easy would it be to obsess over the unpleasant part? If I could avoid it without causing harm, I would not have to go. But if there is no way around something like that, we can look even further forward.
Also, when you don’t see anything that would make you happy, you are either locked up in a dark cell or you are overlooking something. Which brings me to the next point:

 

Big or small? Important or irrelevant?

I go by a very simple equation:

The more things make you happy, the happier you are.

My equation doesn’t account for the nature of thing or its size (sounds familiar?), though it is subordinate to causing no harm.
That means, you can allow yourself to put your hopes in the next sandwich, the next run in the sunset, the next legal high. Though all of these same things are perfect reason to keep your hopes up and anticipate them with all our hearts, there are even bigger things.

What about our relationships? What about work? What about our life?
Many of those parts affect each other. They even amplify or hinder each other. Sometimes we seem to fly, because there are so many next steps happening across the board. Sometimes we are holding back and seek comfort in the familiar surrounding.

Sometimes we go through sour patches, only hoping, anticipating even, it would make something else better again. Whether that is a good strategy, the future will tell. Or has told already? This is why we rely on experience so often, despite surprises surprise us ever so often.
Sometimes we care only about ourselves, which is right, but as humans we usually care about others as well. And that’s where it gets interesting: How are we setting hope and anticipation there? Do we hope together? Do we anticipate the same things? Can we talk about it? Be honest about it?

Do we have arrived? Are we stuck? Do we know where to go? Do we sometimes take care of ourselves first, so we can help the other one better?

Good news: You don’t have to worry too much. Because there simply is a next step, be it little or big, waiting for you. And it is always important and never irrelevant. Because you are looking forward to it. And that makes you go forward.

 

Where does it end?

To be honest, it could just end when something has come true, has passed or is no longer an option to hope for.

Or it could go on forever when you do look forward and spot another thing. Any thing. Any next step. May it be big or small, it will be worth going for. Some people live their entire life anticipating just one thing. And what strong drive they have!

But even when you are legally lost, you can decide on a direction. The direction you think you’ll like. You can take baby steps or bold strokes. But there is always something coming.
Do you see it? Do you want to see it? Do you long for it? Do you want to go further from there?

Fitting the topic my heart was set to this month, I also just had the great opportunity to take pictures of a friends baby bump.
And what a great example of a thing to anticipate! <3

What’s for lunch? Adventure!

Sep 30, 2021 | After The Great Journey, Thoughts

Most days of my employment I took advantage of my very short way home for spending my lunch break.
I liked the little trip into the familiarity, to recharge and replenish in another place than at work.

As my role changed, my team situation evolved and I as a person grew, I found myself in the company of my work mates frightingly often.
Either (the least of times) I brought something from home or we went to the near supermarket or we got some takeaway and spent our break together in varying groups.

I am a person who is always looking for things that make me happy. Little things count as well!
Food makes me happy, human company most of the time makes me happy, trying new things makes me happy, routines make my happy.

What I want to talk about today: My favourite means of food acquisition is the infamous oracle (it might be my responsibility it got as infamous).
With the oracle, you never know what awaits your taste buds, you never know if the oracle presents you with food you already know, you never know where the oracle sends you on your journey.

The oracle boasts its greatest advantage in it offering food on sale.
For it actually is that little part in the supermarket aisle where you find all the half-or-less priced food that has to go quickly, or else…

It is brilliant: You always strike a good deal, you always have a pre-selected mix of foods which dramatically helps with choosing, you save perfectly good food from being thrown out and most important of all: You go for things you would never have looked at until you see them on that daily short list.

The only thing you have to bring is a tolerance in sustenance preference, a sense of adventure and preferably someone to share the joy of the thrilling process each day you travel to the oracle.

I noticed the oracle is not the way for everyone. But yet again, I am not like everyone and not everyone is like me.

This excites me a lot: Learning about who I am and who I am not, what I am able to and what I like.
Be it through a funny routine and a seemingly trivial act of lunch: I get a glimpse of myself and that is something special.