Why Computer Games and Movies?

Some of my passions are most classic, even stereotypical for many people with autism.
Nerd stuff, you might call it.

Since the days of my childhood I had a fascination for computers and for movies (and series, too) and games, almost in general.

 

First, computer games and such

Aside of the frantic acquisition of digital goods, when those were scarce and still precious, and the browsing through the files of games and the operating system, my interest in all the underlying elements of the digital world would always be of a special nature, next to the obvious offerings of fun and leisure.

As much as video games are designed to be fun, so much the question as to why some people are so content in playing them daily, all day long for days?

Sure, it is appealing to the whole happiness apparatus, but isn’t ’the world outside’, too?
Or is the world outside more confusing and disorderly, whereas a computer game has a clear set of rules, mechanics, goals and even hacks?

With a computer program, you can be sure of the design (aside bugs and less well-conceived works) and where it is aimed.

A computer game, or even a board game for that matter, starts by painting a goal, stating the rules and explaining every aspect of the particular world in the time the player would need it.
So you always can be sure that you have a chance, and at times a proper challenge if you so wish, to succeed at a game and inside the world of it.

There is always (because computers work in 1s and 0s) logic to be expected.
A soothing thought, indeed, at least for me.

 

Numbers. Go. Up!

Success is a prickly tree to climb.

Now, why would you climb some prickly tree as high as you can? Well, the others can climb so so high, look at them! You wouldn’t want to be one of the lower losers, would you?
That is what makes a society strive towards progress, that’s why we build higher towers and faster cars and are happy about a raise.
But is it a good thing? Depends on your personal goals. Only those can be hard to distinguish from the ones our society likes to state as a given.

And there is no denying that some successes allow for certain comforts in life.

While in the ’real world’ numbers decide only some parts of our fate, in computer games numbers are the predominant measure of success: Levels, Speed, Damage, Handling, even Money and other denominations.

Outside of games, those numbers might exist as well, but all the hidden and less obvious factors make them far less tangible than inside a game.
Inside the game, you can always trust the numbers and the rules, it is easy, as complex as games often might appear.

If the right number goes up, you are on the right path.

Hardware – an intermezzo

But that is not the only way numbers can go up. Because the computer itself has quite many of those as well, with all the necessary parts of it.
And the whole thing about choosing, configuring and maintaining your hardware and seeing how it works gives great excitement in itself.

Just recently I have upgraded my technical base to a new standard.
So, the numbers went…up!

7700X, 32GB DDR5, 4080, 2TB PCIe® 4.0 NVMe™ SSD, >100 FPS in BL3 4K on Badass
Who ever understands those, now knows. 😀

Throwback: The first ’gaming upgrade’ back in the day looked like this, next to my current model:

 

Film

Movies are entertainment, as well as series. They convey all the things about life, fictional or not, which appeal to humans.

Made by humans, for humans.

Of course, there is the art factor. Ever evolving and arguably subject to taste.
But my stand on that is less one of usual taste, but far more one of the intention of a motion picture.
What did the creators want to achieve and how much did they manage to pull it off?

Aside from the subject and entertaining value of a filmic work, my fascination seems to exceed even that layer. And ever since I analyse myself, I found that movies are more of a pleasure to watch than I thought would be obvious.

Because any of the most complex human emotions and even worse, intentions, are carefully laid out in a way humans should be able to understand. Moreover, you can be sure (given the pull-it-off thing of the creators) that all the elements seemingly important to humans are to be found somewhere inside the movie or series.
That makes it a nice puzzle, sometimes harder, sometimes easier, to find out the following: Which human emotion is met with which reaction? What do humans want and how does it make them act?

At times I felt as if I have learned many rules of society and human interaction from movies, although always conscious and careful about how much that applies to ‘the real life’.

But there are still countless moments where I am hopelessly lost and have to ’see how it turns out’ later in the movie, because I can’t grasp the intentions of yet another evil cooperation’s master plan.
The only thing keeping the experience going then is the trust in the filmmakers, who must have thought it all out wisely. Also, there is some action to it as well, most of the time.

But the fact that all social interaction is well thought out to make sense in the end, is what makes movies so understandable, comfortable and trustworthy for me.

Cinema – another intermezzo

Not only the content of a movie is usually a well-structured, the technical presentation has conventions, too.
From aspect ratios to resolution to surround sound to the language, the calibration and its whole making.

The way a movie is to be watched is always close to the cinematic experience, which almost all filmmakers celebrate.

And with 7.2.4 and HDR10 and OLED, 24-bit and 192kHz and HDMI 2.1 and 2160p I have not only numbers to marvel at and to aspire to, but also an assurance: The closer I am to the intended experience, the more I can be sure to understand every audio-visual detail the work of art wants to convey next to its story.

 

So, why computer games and movies?

Because they work like me: Always (though it can take a while) able to deduce what makes them act in the way they do, what drives them and what things they take and don’t take into consideration.

It is easy to follow and to sympathize with structure, order and rules and reason, my autism confirms.

 

The End of the Archives Part 2

Remember when I was all about decluttering my living space?
Back then I knew that upon my return, I would live another life in some ways. And how did that work out for me?

Well, the whole idea was to redefine myself, as the things you own shape you to an extent.
And indeed it feels like some stale old parts have been stripped from me, enabling me to focus on the present and future.
Not only that, but I continued with my clothes the very next day after the arrival. As almost none of them were inside the mysterious cycle of laundry, I got them all out of the closet and well…who needs 80 pairs of socks, anyway? 😀

And I continued: My stash of valuable things I now saw way more clearly, with all the clutter gone. What could be sold, what should be replaced and what I should actually use for once.
Optimisation is the word. Now I have a proper big screen in front of me, a proper new set of front speakers and a camera flash with a rechargeable battery. Feels good!

Most importantly though, I absolutely demolished my ToDo-List™ of things I promised myself or people long times ago.
This is the pinnacle of achievements, I feel. I was able to prioritise more clearly and didn’t have so many skeletons in the closet, so to speak, that would hold me back from actually facing these long-waiting tasks, which passively shaped a diffuse future of things I felt like having to do one day.

Now, many of those things have been done, deleted, converted into appointments or flight tickets and on some days I even felt this feeling of being able to be spontaneous. Visiting friends or doing utterly unnecessary things or tackling the next long cradled wish and being free of but one more sorrow.

Never would I have imagined this half year having such a deep and profound impact on my life. One more reason to be grateful and seeing Sir Oliver evolve.

The Rest of it

Half a year has passed and it has passed quickly.
But it is was not a short time, as I have so many lovely memories of it and the pictures to prove it! Some of these I will present right here and now.

Also, I can’t possibly imagine what half a year at home would have looked like in the Evolve department. All the steps I took and all the places I’ve been (also inside the mind) would have not been possible without the chance I was lucky to be able to take…

What’s left, when you’re gone?

Life is a series of goodbyes

We see places, moments and most of all people fleeting by our eyes. Some stay for a while, some even come back and some we can’t hold on to as long as we’d liked.

These elements shape our life and make us human. They remind us about life’s nature.
Every moment, every place, every human, every experience leaves an individual trace inside of us. This makes up much of our personality and consequently makes us influence others, too.

Following the old saying of ‘You don’t know what you had until it’s gone.’, I want you to focus on that exact time frame. From your own perspective, mind you, and regardless, when or whether you plan to come back or not:

On the time after you have gone.

 

To be missed is a grand privilege

As our nature is finite, we aim to hold on to pleasant things as long as we can.
Ultimately, something’s or someone’s worth is determined by how much it is being desired when it is..well, missing.

It can be a harsh truth to us, feeling not to miss something we thought we would or starting to miss something we disregarded all that time we had it right at our fingertips.
Missing someone or something probably is the most honest way of appreciation, but little times the other party will know that.

We will all agree, regardless of how much it might hurt, that we would rather have our life filled with things we will miss, than things we do not miss at all.

 

What do you bring to the table?

I am a fan of self reflection and of our ability to actively shape our lives.

Let us think about it: What is left of us to miss, when we’re gone?
And by that I don’t necessarily mean gone from this world, it can be leaving the workplace, moving town, the end of a friendship, finishing a vacation, going home after a visit.

Nothing lasts forever. It is not meant to.
And for the time we are part of an equation we are able to either make ourselves be missed or to leave no particular impression or even worse than that.

This is something that can’t always be done at will, but is dependent on ourselves as a person, within a specific environment, in a certain situation.
Also, it is always about the other person. We can’t miss ourselves. Only others miss others.

As much as life seems to revolve around us personally, we will be gone one day.
And then what is left?

It is the things we brought to the table. Our impact on the others, our traces, which will shape their lives and make them impact even more lives.

 

What do we leave behind?

In every life, there are certain areas which we influence the most.

Most of the times it is our family, which we have the chance to influence. Starting as a child, even small choices can shape this entity. Maybe one day we expand our family by introducing additions and create a chain of development and influence.
For some it might be all about the job, the things they own, the boxes they ticked off.

So, have we caused happiness, have we been constructive, have we been true to our beliefs, have we kept our word, have we inspired others, have we helped, have we made the world we live in a better place for those who live in it with us?

The End of the Archives

To do something you surprise yourself with is a rare phenomenon, at least for myself.
Most of my life, I was all about preserving and holding on to items and routines and this “my stuff” thing.

Nostalgic me wouldn’t throw beloved treasures away. Nooo Sir! That would mean the materialised loss of a potential memory or worse: The loathed position of needing something you no longer possess.

So, my archives grew. Anything I ever claimed possession of, I stored. Some things not for very long, also replacing, selling, even throwing out at some points.
Though always consciously holding my hands over the treasures of old, dating back to elementary school times and even before. You couldn’t throw away those things, no way!

Of all the things I own, it was some kind of sediment. Things that were just there, holding ever fading memories and mostly taking up A LOT of space at the bottom of drawers and cupboards.
But it was somewhat comforting, as I knew I would always find something I look for, as I couldn’t have thrown it out. The process of finding was something else, as this kind of archive wasn’t well structured…

That’s how I left home, going to live in another place for half a year. I packed the things I needed and left only the big things, like the home cinema and all furniture. Also, I left this sediment, as I didn’t need it on my journey.

On an occasion I had to travel back for a weekend.
Strange feeling, to have left and still be back in the familiar place. It was nice. As I had some free time on my hands and needed to pick some items up that I thought would be useful at the other place, I started to go through my stuff and slowly came to a realisation: Now would be the perfect time to REALLY go through my stuff.

As all the things at the other place had already proven to be sufficient for living a good life, plus half a day of free time at my hands I went for it.

I just took everything that was in my possession out of the closets, drawers, boxes and dark corners.

When I had arrived, my room was as clean as it hadn’t been in a long while.
Now, it was a total mess! Intentionally that, as it was MY mess, which I wanted to clean up in the confined time I had at home.

An individual is made out of many elements, of which one is the material things one possesses. The nature of those things defines part of a person’s nature.
As often as I found elements of my past within myself traveling, growing, evolving, I still held on to the items that were dear to me way back in time.
But sometimes it can be quite liberating letting go of things.

Not often hours run past as quickly as at times like those.
Also, it felt like time travel! As I knew I did in fact not need any of those things for my life, I was in a fruitful mood of throwing stuff out.

In the end I had two trash bags full of memories and over 20 kg of paper that all went into the bin.
Some things went into the pool of toys for my nephews and niece, some very little items I kept and quite some treasures went to my dad to make use in the workshop of or finally get rid off.

That night I could barely sleep as my mind was all busy computing the overload of impressions I had put it through.
But one thing stood out: Relief! Not only would I return to a neat and clean room, I now really knew every single last item I own and it is not just a blurry mess of the past – some heavy sediment.

Bonus: I can finally use up all piled up travel-sized bottles of shampoo, popcorn kernels and canned jackfruit I once got from the oracle!

Many people do this on a regular basis, which is a fine thing to make a habit from!
But I always feared this. Throwing out my past seemed daunting and never the stars aligned just like at that special weekend.
Now, it will be easy. As the things to clear out can’t be ancient or nostalgically precious.

In fact, in other areas I’ve already started doing things like this the past weeks.
Making sense of all my folders on my computer’s harddrive, sorting my digital collections and even at work I am lucky to do things like that.

It feels good, actually clearing the deck and amplifying the clear view into the future, as there is a significant little speck less to look back at.
This way, my blog’s name is honoured once more: Sir Oliver Evolves!