{"id":5388,"date":"2024-05-31T13:20:35","date_gmt":"2024-05-31T13:20:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/p-izi3x7.project.space\/?p=5388"},"modified":"2025-04-15T20:25:36","modified_gmt":"2025-04-15T20:25:36","slug":"why-was-oli-able-then-but-not-anymore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/siroliverevolves.com\/de\/2024\/05\/why-was-oli-able-then-but-not-anymore\/","title":{"rendered":"Warum konnte Oli damals alles und jetzt nicht mehr?"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Weil ich damals meine Bed\u00fcrfnisse hintenan und allem anderen unterstellt habe.
Und das noch nicht einmal b\u00f6swillig, sondern mit bestem Wissen \u00fcber mich selbst und Gewissen!
Das hat 2 Folgen gehabt: Ich habe \u00fcber meine Komfortzone hinaus leben k\u00f6nnen und habe doch immer nach Rahmen gesucht, die stabil genug waren, um in ihnen zu leben.<\/p>\n

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Auch ein stetig sinkender Graph bietet die mir so wichtige Sicherheit und Stabilit\u00e4t im Leben.<\/p>\n

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2 Grundlagen hatte das: Einmal habe ich in meinem Elternhaus die wahrscheinlich komfortabelste, wenn auch nicht f\u00fcr mein Alter angemessenste, Umgebung gehabt und auf der anderen Seite habe ich meine Masken immer weiter so gestaltet, dass ich m\u00f6glichst so sein k\u00f6nnte wie alle anderen.<\/p>\n

Die Schmerzen, Unsicherheiten, Energielosigkeit und die gro\u00dfe angeh\u00e4ufte Energie-Schuld habe ich einfach mit nach Hause genommen. Ich habe \u00c4ngste und Not erlebt und mir noch nicht einmal erlaubt, diese als solche anzuerkennen, weil es nicht in die ausgefeilte Maske des Olis passte, den ich immer weiter optimiert und zugeschnitten habe.
Ich hatte schon immer den Verdacht, irgendwo anders zu sein als alle anderen, aber ohne eine klinische Diagnose konnte ich mir nichts anma\u00dfen und konzentrierte mich aufs Gl\u00fccklichsein. Aber diese schweren Gedanken hatten nur dann Platz, wenn ich die Maske im Schutz meiner Komfortzone fallen lie\u00df, denn eine solche Maske ist immens schwer.<\/p>\n

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Wie eine Ritterr\u00fcstung, mit der man zwar jeden Ansturm \u00fcberlebt, aber die nur bedingt f\u00fcr lange M\u00e4rsche geeignet ist.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_testimonial][et_pb_text _builder_version=“4.25.1″ background_pattern_color=“rgba(0,0,0,0.2)“ background_mask_color=“#ffffff“ text_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“text_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ text_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ text_text_shadow_vertical_length=“text_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ text_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ text_text_shadow_blur_strength=“text_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ text_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ link_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“link_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ link_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ link_text_shadow_vertical_length=“link_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ link_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ link_text_shadow_blur_strength=“link_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ link_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ ul_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“ul_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ul_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ ul_text_shadow_vertical_length=“ul_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ul_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ ul_text_shadow_blur_strength=“ul_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ul_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ ol_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“ol_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ol_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ ol_text_shadow_vertical_length=“ol_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ol_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ ol_text_shadow_blur_strength=“ol_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ol_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ quote_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“quote_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ quote_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ quote_text_shadow_vertical_length=“quote_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ quote_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ quote_text_shadow_blur_strength=“quote_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ quote_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ header_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“header_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ header_text_shadow_vertical_length=“header_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ header_text_shadow_blur_strength=“header_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ header_2_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“header_2_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_2_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ header_2_text_shadow_vertical_length=“header_2_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_2_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ header_2_text_shadow_blur_strength=“header_2_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_2_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ header_3_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“header_3_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_3_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ header_3_text_shadow_vertical_length=“header_3_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_3_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ header_3_text_shadow_blur_strength=“header_3_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_3_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ header_4_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“header_4_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_4_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ header_4_text_shadow_vertical_length=“header_4_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_4_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ header_4_text_shadow_blur_strength=“header_4_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_4_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ header_5_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“header_5_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_5_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ header_5_text_shadow_vertical_length=“header_5_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_5_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ header_5_text_shadow_blur_strength=“header_5_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_5_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ header_6_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“header_6_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_6_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ header_6_text_shadow_vertical_length=“header_6_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_6_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ header_6_text_shadow_blur_strength=“header_6_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_6_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ box_shadow_horizontal_tablet=“0px“ box_shadow_vertical_tablet=“0px“ box_shadow_blur_tablet=“40px“ box_shadow_spread_tablet=“0px“ vertical_offset_tablet=“0″ horizontal_offset_tablet=“0″ z_index_tablet=“0″ custom_padding=“16px|||“]<\/p>\n

Und wo die Zweifel immer unausweichlicher wurden, machte ich mich auf, der Sache auf den Grund zu gehen.
Diagnose Autismus.<\/p>\n

Ich habe nun keine Ausrede mehr, meine Bed\u00fcrfnisse zu ignorieren und meinen Lebensstil der Maske zu opfern.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_testimonial admin_label=“Testimonial“ _builder_version=“4.25.1″ background_pattern_color=“rgba(0,0,0,0.2)“ background_mask_color=“#ffffff“ quote_icon_background_color=“#f5f5f5″ box_shadow_horizontal_image_tablet=“0px“ box_shadow_vertical_image_tablet=“0px“ box_shadow_blur_image_tablet=“40px“ box_shadow_spread_image_tablet=“0px“ text_shadow_horizontal_length=“text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ text_shadow_vertical_length=“text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ text_shadow_blur_strength=“text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ body_link_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“body_link_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ body_link_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ body_link_text_shadow_vertical_length=“body_link_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ body_link_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ body_link_text_shadow_blur_strength=“body_link_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ body_link_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ body_ul_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“body_ul_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ body_ul_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ body_ul_text_shadow_vertical_length=“body_ul_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ body_ul_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ body_ul_text_shadow_blur_strength=“body_ul_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ body_ul_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ body_ol_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“body_ol_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ body_ol_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ body_ol_text_shadow_vertical_length=“body_ol_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ body_ol_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ body_ol_text_shadow_blur_strength=“body_ol_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ body_ol_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ body_quote_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“body_quote_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ body_quote_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ body_quote_text_shadow_vertical_length=“body_quote_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ body_quote_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ body_quote_text_shadow_blur_strength=“body_quote_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ body_quote_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ author_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“author_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ author_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ author_text_shadow_vertical_length=“author_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ author_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ author_text_shadow_blur_strength=“author_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ author_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ position_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“position_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ position_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ position_text_shadow_vertical_length=“position_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ position_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ position_text_shadow_blur_strength=“position_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ position_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ company_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“company_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ company_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ company_text_shadow_vertical_length=“company_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ company_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ company_text_shadow_blur_strength=“company_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ company_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ box_shadow_horizontal_tablet=“0px“ box_shadow_vertical_tablet=“0px“ box_shadow_blur_tablet=“40px“ box_shadow_spread_tablet=“0px“ vertical_offset_tablet=“0″ horizontal_offset_tablet=“0″ z_index_tablet=“0″ font_icon=“%%257%%“ custom_padding=“||0px|“ custom_margin=“-1em|||“ text_orientation=“center“]<\/p>\n

Ich m\u00f6chte ich sein, ob auf Arbeit oder im Stillen daheim.<\/p>\n

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Und selbst dieses Ich ist so sehr mit der Maske verschmolzen, dass ich gro\u00dfe Schwierigkeiten habe, das einfach zu trennen.<\/p>\n

Das letzte Jahr war gepr\u00e4gt von 2 gro\u00dfen Projekten:
Erst die Wiederaufnahme der Arbeit, mit eigenem Raum, mit neuen Aufgaben, mit mehr Selbstachtung.
Dann kam mit frischer Energie der Auszug aus dem Elternhaus, mit neuen Herausforderungen und einer neuen Art t\u00e4glich zu leben, mit Verantwortung in vielen neuen Bereichen mir selbst und anderen gegen\u00fcber.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Ich bin erwachsen geworden.<\/p>\n

[\/et_pb_testimonial][et_pb_text _builder_version=“4.25.1″ background_pattern_color=“rgba(0,0,0,0.2)“ background_mask_color=“#ffffff“ text_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“text_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ text_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ text_text_shadow_vertical_length=“text_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ text_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ text_text_shadow_blur_strength=“text_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ text_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ link_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“link_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ link_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ link_text_shadow_vertical_length=“link_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ link_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ link_text_shadow_blur_strength=“link_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ link_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ ul_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“ul_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ul_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ ul_text_shadow_vertical_length=“ul_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ul_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ ul_text_shadow_blur_strength=“ul_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ul_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ ol_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“ol_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ol_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ ol_text_shadow_vertical_length=“ol_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ol_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ ol_text_shadow_blur_strength=“ol_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ ol_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ quote_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“quote_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ quote_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ quote_text_shadow_vertical_length=“quote_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ quote_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ quote_text_shadow_blur_strength=“quote_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ quote_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ header_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“header_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ header_text_shadow_vertical_length=“header_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ header_text_shadow_blur_strength=“header_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ header_2_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“header_2_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_2_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ header_2_text_shadow_vertical_length=“header_2_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_2_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ header_2_text_shadow_blur_strength=“header_2_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_2_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ header_3_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“header_3_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_3_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ header_3_text_shadow_vertical_length=“header_3_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_3_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ header_3_text_shadow_blur_strength=“header_3_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_3_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ header_4_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“header_4_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_4_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ header_4_text_shadow_vertical_length=“header_4_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_4_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ header_4_text_shadow_blur_strength=“header_4_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_4_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ header_5_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“header_5_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_5_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ header_5_text_shadow_vertical_length=“header_5_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_5_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ header_5_text_shadow_blur_strength=“header_5_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_5_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ header_6_text_shadow_horizontal_length=“header_6_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_6_text_shadow_horizontal_length_tablet=“0px“ header_6_text_shadow_vertical_length=“header_6_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_6_text_shadow_vertical_length_tablet=“0px“ header_6_text_shadow_blur_strength=“header_6_text_shadow_style,%91object Object%93″ header_6_text_shadow_blur_strength_tablet=“1px“ box_shadow_horizontal_tablet=“0px“ box_shadow_vertical_tablet=“0px“ box_shadow_blur_tablet=“40px“ box_shadow_spread_tablet=“0px“ vertical_offset_tablet=“0″ horizontal_offset_tablet=“0″ z_index_tablet=“0″ custom_padding=“16px|||“]<\/p>\n

Dank der R\u00fcckzugsm\u00f6glichkeit aus dem Gro\u00dfraumb\u00fcro und dem fr\u00fchen Feierabend konnte ich der neuen Masse an Verantwortlichkeiten standhalten und leben.
Nicht wenig geholfen hat dabei die Sicherheit von au\u00dfen, dass ich in dieser Arbeitsweise willkommen und okay bin.
Sobald ich daran zu zweifeln habe oder gar diese Bed\u00fcrfnisse aus jeglichen Gr\u00fcnden missachte, t\u00f6tet das meine Freude und die Folgen davon saugen alle Energie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Mein Leben dreht sich haupts\u00e4chlich um die Balance: Jede \u00c4nderung setzt mir zu, jede Stetigkeit entspannt mich.<\/p>\n

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Und wenn nach dem Ausbalancieren keine Energie \u00fcbrig bleibt, kann es vorkommen, dass ich sogar vergesse, warum genau es mir gut geht oder welche unerwartete \u00c4nderung mir den Garaus machen w\u00fcrde. Denn da befinde ich mich auf einer Abw\u00e4rtsspirale, ohne es zu merken, ohne mich an gesunden Gewohnheiten festhalten zu k\u00f6nnen, ohne mir Hilfe zu holen.<\/p>\n

Ich bin darauf programmiert, das Gute zu sehen. Das allein l\u00e4sst das Schlechte aber nicht verschwinden und ich sehe es erst viel zu sp\u00e4t, wenn ich es nicht akzeptiere und damit gesund umgehen lerne.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Ein Pinguin an Land hat ganz andere F\u00e4higkeiten als dasselbe Tier im Wasser.<\/p>\n

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Weil ich damals meine Bed\u00fcrfnisse hintenan und allem anderen unterstellt habe.Und das noch nicht einmal b\u00f6swillig, sondern mit bestem Wissen \u00fcber mich selbst und Gewissen!Das hat 2 Folgen gehabt: Ich habe \u00fcber meine Komfortzone hinaus leben k\u00f6nnen und habe doch immer nach Rahmen gesucht, die stabil genug waren, um in ihnen zu leben.   Auch […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5416,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[67,22],"tags":[68,46],"class_list":["post-5388","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-autism","category-thoughts","tag-neurodiversity","tag-personal"],"yoast_head":"\nWarum konnte Oli damals alles und jetzt nicht mehr? - Sir Oliver Evolves<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/siroliverevolves.com\/2024\/05\/why-was-oli-able-then-but-not-anymore\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"de_DE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"[:en]Why was Oli able then, but not anymore?[:de]Warum konnte Oli damals alles und jetzt nicht mehr?[:] - 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