Professionalism

Act Professional!

As we get older, this is being expected more and more often and more seriously each time.
But what might it mean?

We call a thing someone does to make their living ‘professional’. That word carries responsibility and all that comes with it, ultimately a very adult way of doing things.
Most companies are operating professionally, because sustainability, accountability, profitability and many more -abilities are to be expected not only by their clients.

As a photography provider, I have been in that very situation myself, but much more relaxed as it wasn’t crucial to making my living. And I never really aimed for anything resembling pure professionalism; on the contrary, I made it clear that I strive for capturing moments with a passion and towards the individual clients.

Professionalism is about meeting standards. The antidote is expectation management.

 

With Autism?

One could argue that especially some late diagnosis does a number on your carefully crafted internal and external expectation management.
I myself learned as many standards as I could (etiquette manuals, seminars, my own rulebooks), so I could meet and master them and pass for an at times even professional being.

But the actual process works differently inside my mind. Under all robotic programming there lie unkempt feelings, passions, emotions. I was very lucky to suppress (mask) only parts of that fiery force and even incorporate much of that raw human spirit in my programming.

So, despite being autistic, I found ways to even come across rather ‘professional’ in select social matters.
But in reality, it’s my feelings on overdrive, covered by the enhanced ability of rational and cold logical calculation (which is a welcome tool to suppress the weird that humans seem to dislike more than embrace or even question sanely) that I am made of.

Note that those feelings come first and are then coated with the protective layer of all the things that seem to make an autistic person properly autistic by the books (change-repellant routine, avoidance of eye contact, repetitive and pedantic behaviour, vulnerability to sensory impact).

I tend to function best in this world, when either my feelings and emotions are neatly aligned or when my protective methods are at peak effectiveness. Sadly, neither is the case most of the time, as I am a human in a human world.
But I got by, having chosen every measure possible to keep my passion high on the job, despite spending all my energy on its account. And when all energy was spent and neither my own, nor others’ expectations could be met, I had to decide for some deep rest.

 

With Purpose.

I like to ask about the Why of things, and I aim for a satisfactory answer.
Thus, I wouldn’t be quite happy if I were to act ‘professionally’ only for professionalism’s sake. This is not a decision, I noticed in myself over the years, it is a deeply rooted gut feeling, to let real passion be the cornerstone of my motivations.

So when I was acting through my way professionally, I would be either masking most of my passion with the mental tools at hand, or I have been in a position to utilise vast amounts of my passion to accidentally pass for all expected standards of a given profession.

But in the end, are we here to fit into a preformed picture of ‘professionals’, or is it our purpose to simply share our passions with others through the thing we do, maybe professionally?
That said, not always can we choose our profession freely; but isn’t our job description far less central than our true passion and the answer to why we do what we do every day?

I feel that asking about this critical balance of passion and professionalism might be a great step towards healing for me.