I made it a little cosy for myself. Instead of the ceiling lights, my spherical lamp on the floor makes for some subdued light. My thermos stands by my side and I put on some music. Quietly, it is late already…
Rain pelts against the windows, the night is ripped apart by lighting and thunder…
My head is spinning a little. So many things I go through and so many are coming at me and many more I push tend to push into the future. From meeting with dear friends from home and those you met in New Zealand, car formalities, birthday parties, job search, technical doings on my computer and domestic duties to my beloved theatre rehearsals.
From one of those I just came home. And that was where it struck me. It has all stayed the same. Not much changes. And under this old light you seem as if you never left. You walk the more or less well known streets and into the more or less well known corners and you don’t have the urge to think about it. About the 17 months you spent abroad. About the time my family and friends, who are now around as ever, missed me.
You easily fall back into the old habits you were happy to lay off ‘over there’. It works just the same now. It works just as ever.
What is left? Is is the souvenirs you put on your shelf? Is it the pictures you safe on your hard drive? Is it the clothes you bought ‘over there’?
It is the countless memories. It is the many new contacts you never would have dreamed of taking care of one day. It is the friends you can call yours. It is the steps you had to take, towards self-reliance and self-knowledge. It is the lessons you learned for life.
And that was it all. It is behind me. It is in the room and it is my turn to make something out of it. What did I learn? What do I apply? How does this long time of my life influence my living?
You see, I have time for deeper thoughts, too…
I think therefore I am.
